I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

346,489 notes

fineapplepizza:

oh sorry i was thinking about myself did you want something

286,271 notes

urbancatfitters:

you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”

(Source: urbancatfitters)

210,888 notes

mustaine:

not all ‘old’ music is good and not all ‘new’ music is bad so get your head out of your ass

(Source: deldeaux)

239,030 notes

cokeflow:

“I’m on my way!” I say as I remain naked in bed

(Source: cokeflow)

45,347 notes

meladoodle:

rodneykong:

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

290,313 notes

hardcorebrownie:

today i sneezed in class and two people said “bless you” i’m getting famous faster than u all think

94,298 notes